Putting Cancer Into Perspective

Tami’s stats:

Urgent Care Visits – 12

ER Visits –   10

Hospitalizations –  7

Surgeries – 2

Doctor Appointments –  more than 50

Chemo Infusions –  about 20

Radiation Treatments –  7

Blood Draws –  too many to count

Scans/Tests –  more than 20

Medications – more than 15 at various times

Side Effects – nausea, loss of appetite, hair thinning, acne, fatigue, chemo brain, memory loss, vomiting, tingling in fingers and toes, twitching in eyes, numb tongue, mouth sores, runny nose, constipation, diarrhea, bowel colitis.

There were times when we were at a doctor, infusion, scan, test every day of the week.  Pure exhaustion is what she felt most of the time.  After looking again at the above, I don’t blame her.  There was barely energy to get out of bed, shower, get dressed, eat, etc.  In her own way, however, she was able to muster up enough energy to do those things and to continue to be the wonderful mother, daughter, sister, best friend, ministry leader she was.  We were told on several occasions that laughter was truly her best medicine as it releases tons of good chemicals within the body to boost the immune system.  We started watching movies like Madasgar, Click, Hitch…anything that would make her laugh.  It was also good to see her laugh, even in the midst of all of the above.  Oh, how I miss laughing with her, and watching those movies with her.  In light of all she went through, I would not want her to experience another day of all that as I know she is in complete peace now.  Cancer truly sucks.

Our Last Getaway

In the midst of battling such an emotionally, physically and spiritually draining illness, it is important to find times and places where you can find restoration.  Tami’s and my dream was to go to Paris.  I tried for months to make that happen, knowing that her time was short.  Chemo took a lot out of her, so making a trip that far was too much to take on.  So, instead we flew to San Francisco, rented a car and then drove to my parents’ beach trailer in Caspar Beach, near Mendocino.  It was her birthday week in August 2009.  With camera in hand, she captured the beauty of the ocean, lighthouses, flowers, trees, rivers, vineyards, benches, etc.  Photography was truly her passion.  We are so lucky to have all her photographs to share with others.  We walked, we hiked, we drove, we laughed.  We made smores, and enjoyed the best Clam Chowder.  We played Trivial Pursuit and could not answer any of the questions, so we pulled out the junior trivia questions we used as a family growing up.  She answered every question correctly, filled her piece, and won the game in one turn.  We laughed hysterically until we cried.

She was tired from finishing up her chemo, but she still wanted to see all the beautiful places on the northern coast.  We drove to lighthouses, the redwoods, glass beach, beautiful coves, and the pygmy forest.  I will never forget the time spent with her on this last trip.  She and I always had a great time wherever we went, but this one ended up being extra special…as it would really be our last.  One thing we both learned…life is short and we never know what tomorrow will bring (if it comes), so it is important to live each day to fullest, seizing every opportunity to enjoy the beauty around us, invest in those we love, meet the needs of those who are struggling, be the blessing and light in this often dark world.