A Letter to My Best Friend

Dear Tami,

It is December 31, 2011 and we are on the brink of a new year.  The last 13 months without you have not only flown by but have brought with them joys, sorrows, challenges, hard decisions, eye opening experiences, open doors, closed doors, and immense growth and healing.  I still remember, like yesterday, our last week together.  I will always cherish the conversations shared, the laughter, the prayers, the tears, and the memories.  The day we said goodbye, my heart broke.  There was still so much life we wanted to live, vacations we wanted to take, and dreams we wanted to realize.  Strolling Paris at night, sipping coffee during the day, photographing everything in sight.  Cruising Alaska, seeing the Orcas and some of the most beautiful scenery around.  Taking that trip to Canada and doing all the things you didn't get to do the last time you were there.  Turning your passion for photography into your own business, TamiS Photography.  Our list was so much longer, but these were at the top.  The list of things we did get to do together is so much longer, and I am grateful for all of those memories.

What you gave me in the 12 years we were friends is priceless.  You came into my life when I was broken and searching.  You accepted me as I was, yet cared enough to show me that I didn't have to stay broken.  You took my hand and led me down the path to healing and wholeness.  You were my cheerleader. You were my encourager.  You were my guide.  Little did we know that we would find in each other a kinship, a sisterhood, a bond that could not easily be broken.  We balanced each other out.  You taught me how to accept everyone as they are, to love unconditionally, to forgive always, to practice selflessness, and to have faith, even as small as a mustard seed.  As I watched you battle for your life, I was humbled and moved by your faith, belief, gratefulness, determination, acceptance, grace, forgiveness, and hope.  Again, priceless lessons about life and how to live it.

I want you to know that I have been blessed with phenomenal friends, family and grief support group.  I would not be where I am today without them.  Family includes your family as well.  I am finally making some much needed changes, kinda like you did when you realized certain things in life just weren't worth the emotional cost.  You have inspired me to make my dreams a reality and I am on my way to doing so.  You would love this next chapter of my life, and I would have loved to share it with you.  Each day has its ups and downs and there are so many things that happen that I wish I could tell you about.  For instance, tonight I went to see Midnight in Paris with Cheryl.  The whole time, all I could think about was the trip we wanted to take and how we would have loved strolling the streets, viewing the Eiffel Tower, sipping coffee, etc.  But more than that, the message of the movie was so "you".  The movie exemplified the difference between living a mediocre life one feels trapped in, and living out your dreams and what you are passionate about.  It was so good to see you live out your dreams and passion for what time you had left.  You will always be in my heart as the footprints left there are permanent.  Cheers to a new year full of triumphs, victories, change, realization of dreams, continued to growth and healing, and the continued sharing of your journey and legacy.  Happy 2012!